Tarvin Page 2

  ***

  "Are you sure we're allowed to be here?" I asked as I sipped on my second mug of ale. The taste certainly took some getting used to.

  "I told you," Pellia answered. "It's not illegal. My dad would kill me if he found out, but it's not like we're going to get arrested. I thought you were the smart one around here."

  "I'm not really all that smart, you know," I said. Alcohol had loosened my tongue. "I just don't have anything else to do, so I study."

  "You could... hang out with friends?" Pellia sipped on her drink, some concoction of fruit juice and liquor.

  "Ha. What friends? Any time I think I've made a friend, my brothers turn him against me. I've just... stopped trying, you know? I can't handle it." The mouthful of bitter liquid that followed the admission accurately represented my feelings on the matter.

  "Why would they do that?" She sounded genuinely concerned. I didn't hear that often. More likely, it was some combination of pity and pretending to care while not actually giving a damn.

  "Because I-" I took another gulp of ale. "Our mother. She- she died giving birth to me. I killed her. My father, he blamed me, took to drinking." I frowned at the ale in my hand before polishing off the glass. "And I think my brothers blamed me for that, too. I wasn't the only one who got my share of beatings."

  "That's awful."

  "You have no idea. You don't know what it's like, not being able to trust anyone, not even your own family. Even strangers on the street could be part of some elaborate scheme to humiliate you - it's happened."

  "So why are you here with me?" Pellia asked.

  The question caught me somewhat off guard. People don't normally question their own trustworthiness.

  "I don't know," I said, focusing on the empty glass in my hand. "Maybe it's because I can't make myself believe that you'd do that to me. Maybe because I need to believe there are trustworthy people in the world. Maybe - maybe I think the reward is worth the risk."

  I risked a glance to gauge Pellia's reaction. She smiled.

  "You can trust me," she said. In one smooth motion, she drained the last of her drink and set the empty glass back on the table. "Come on. I'll prove it."